


I Missed Your Call

by Indiprincess



Series: ADA office after hours [21]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Feels, Friendship, Hugs, Misunderstandings, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:50:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indiprincess/pseuds/Indiprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As always, thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoy the update!</p>
    </blockquote>





	I Missed Your Call

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading and I do hope you enjoy the update!

You pull into Lauren's parents driveway, their sprawling estate in Bloomfield Hills, MI is something to behold. You and Lauren Young had been best friends for the majority of your lives and you knew this property well. Everything was just as you had remembered. 90 acres of rolling hills and peaceful surroundings. The Young family had an Olympic size pool with it's own pool house, riding stables, a tennis court and a stocked fishing pond and a fountain in front of the house. You roll down the window to take a deep breath of the fresh air to help wake you up. It's 10 hours from Manhattan to their house, and that didn't include stops to stretch and get gas and caffeine. Oh sweet coffee. You've had so much of it today, you may not blink until after you return the rental. That thought makes you smile. You felt like you hadn't smiled in ages, since your life fell apart in a stunning fashion in the courthouse. You don't often let yourself think on that day, it hurts far too much to allow yourself back there.

You go to get your bags from the trunk along with your dress, and Ethan, Lauren's brother, comes to help and you go for a hug from him right away. The Young family had become like your own long ago.

"Ethan! Big E. It's so good to see you." You cry out as you wrap him in a quick hug. "Where's Lolo?" You favorite nickname for Lauren.

"She's down at the pool house giving it the once over for you. I'll get your bags. How was your drive?"

"Ugh. LONG. I'm so glad it's over! I drank so much coffee though Ethan, I don't think I'm gonna sleep this whole weekend." You both laugh.

You see Lauren and run into her arms and hug her so tight you hear her back pop. "Sweetie," Lauren laughs as you sniffle "are you okay?"

"Yeah Lolo" you croak, "I've just really really really missed you." You sigh. "And it's your big day! It's finally here!" You smile and hug her again.

"I missed you too! So much. I hope you come to your senses soon and move back closer again." You both laugh. "Where's your detective friend?" She asks looking past you and you feel your blood go cold.

"Uh, he's not coming..." You begin.

"He's not coming?" She interrupts.

"No, Lauren, he's not coming. He, uh, he couldn't get the time off work and he's got school stuff." You lie to her face and pray she doesn't badger you. You see her start to frown, and you wave it off. "Don't worry about it. It happens." She always knows when you're lying. She claims she can "smell your bullshit and you reek" when she thinks you are lying. She's staring at you hard and opens her mouth. "Lolo, it's not my bullshit you smell, that's just the truck stop." You say with a laugh to get her to back off. She laughs and you get your reprieve. For now.

You don't wish to talk about your heartbreak this weekend, you just want to celebrate with your friend and her family. If you had to open your mouth to tell them that you walked away from Sonny in the courthouse, that he had let you walk away from him, and you had heard nothing from him, not one word, and you hadn't said one word to him either, you would surely crumble where you stood into a million pieces to match the rubble and ruin that was left of your heart. You were shocked to find out that Sonny had been groped by a prostitute he and Amanda had been interrogating. He hadn't told you about it either, you found out about it in the courtroom while Sonny was on the stand and you were transcribing testimony in the reporter's gallery. When you found him in the hall at lunch recess he was angry and embarrassed and flustered and didn't want to talk about it and you were hurt and angry and frustrated. You returned the watch he had given you in place of an engagement ring the night before when he spontaneously proposed, and you hurled hurtful words at him as you walked back into the courtroom, where you were then informed you had too many errors during his testimony to keep the transcription position so it was back to admin assisting for you. You didn't know why you were shocked, hadn't you been waiting this whole time for the floor to fall from beneath you? So why were you surprised when it did?

When you had gotten home that night you threw away everything he had touched the night before, so angry with him. You were slamming bottles and coffee cups into the trash bag in a fever pitch. When you calmed down, and the anger and betrayal that you had been feeding had subsided, you wondered what it was that made him feel he couldn't tell you this happened. Was it you? Had you done something to make him feel that way? And those thoughts brought a whole new hurt to your heart. You had wanted to ask so badly, but you didn't know where to start, and the longer you went without talking to him the harder it was to break the silence. You'd even once, yesterday in fact, gone out to the house he shared with his grandfather in Long Island City and stood on the porch in the dark, hand poised to knock on the door, but you lost your nerve after several minutes and ran for the train. You weren't even sure if he would want to see you, or what you would say if he did, so the fear of being rejected by him overtook you and your doubts of him wanting to see you grew louder and louder the longer you stood and you bolted, telling yourself you needed to get packed to head to Lauren's the next day.

Ethan comes in with your bags and sets them down, snapping you from your memories. You left him halfway down the yard and ran to Lauren as soon as you saw her. "Thanks Big E., sorry I left you to carry all my crap." You help him get your things.

"Oh no problem, you travel so light." He teases as he sets down your heavy bags with a grunt. You sure you're only here for two nights and not moving back?"

You open your mouth to snark back at him and Lauren cuts you off. "She's not moving back, she's got her hot cop still waiting for her back in the Big Apple." 

"Is that right?" Ethan asks as he sets your bags down. "How's that going for you? Going good?"

"Yep." You say quickly, and turn to Laruen to keep the subject from settling on you and Sonny once again. "What time is the rehearsal dinner? I really need to shower and change and do my makeup."

"The rehearsal at church is at 6 and the rehearsal dinner after at the Coach Insignia at 7 for drinks and dinner at 8." Lauren looks at her watch. "We'll need to leave here by 5:30 to get to the church on time. Do you want to get ready up at the house?"

"Uh, I think I'd like to stay here and take a nap before we go if that's okay. I had to leave so early." Lauren nods in agreement and reminds you to leave by 5:30. "I'll see you after a bit." You hug them both as they leave and you get undressed and flop in the bed to try to sleep. You know you need to nap, you've been working so much and the long drive you are exhausted, but your mind won't stop, and you can't keep your eyes from staring at your phone. Tired of being proud, stubborn, hurting, and feeling so lost without him, you decide to call Sonny, just to talk, before you lose your nerve. You pull up your contact list with shaky fingers and stare at his picture by his contact number for what feels like hours. The longer wait, you lose your nerve more and more. You take a shuttering breath and hit the call button and put the phone to your ear. Were he to answer, you are unsure if you would be able to hear him, your heart pounding in your ears is deafening. You let it ring twice and hang up, hoping the call didn't ring on his end, since you have now lost all nerve. The longer you were apart from him the harder it seemed to find your way back to him. You clutch your phone to your chest as a tear slips out. You decide to try and get some rest after all. You need it, with having lost the transcription job and Heather moving out, you were working as much overtime as you could get to make rent and you worked at the bar where Heather works on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Her boss gave you a job temporarily, just till you found another roommate. You weren't holding out for another Heather, she was one of a kind. You were just looking for someone who won't kill you in your sleep or eat your almond butter. You finally put your phone down and go to sleep, your aching eyes no longer letting you stare at it trying to will it to ring.

************************************************

Sonny hears his phone ring only once and as soon as he's done typing the paragraph he is working on he picks it up. He sees his girls face and a missed call. His heart is pounding. He stares at the phone wondering if he was just the victim of a butt dial. He misses that butt and every bit of her, and prays she calls back. His mind goes back to that day he had treated her with such a coldness in the hallway of the courthouse, he was so disappointed in himself. It was his anger at the situation spilling out of him, it wasn't her he was upset at. He was upset by the way that she had found out, when he knew he should have told her about it in the first place. He didn't want to talk about it in the hallway and she wouldn't stop. His temper got the better of him in that moment and he instantly regretted it. Then when court was out he ran to her apartment. Ready to talk, to answer her questions and tell her why he hadn't said anything but when he got there he saw everything he had touched from the night before in the trash, and he was so hurt he didn't know what to do so he just went on to Staten Island that night without her. 

He debates calling her back. He decides not to, it had to be a butt dial. If it wasn't she would have waited for him to pick up or left him a voicemail at least. A text. Anything. He hadn't heard a peep from her so this clearly was only a mistake. He decides against calling her as he chucks his phone in the desk drawer and he goes back to typing. 

************************

You had woken up just in time to get dressed and head over to the church, only being late by a few moments, and thank goodness nobody noticed. The dress you chose was a vintage 50's cocktail dress, black lace overlay with beige silk lining and black tulle beneath and fitted top and waist. You pulled your hair up and only went with some faux diamond stud earrings as your jewelry. You head in the church, so glad Ethan is accompanying you up the aisle, your ease and comfort with him make these things much easier. You always appreciate his smiling face.

Dinner afterwards at the Coach Insignia was amazing, the restaurant on the 72nd floor looking over all of Detroit. You enjoyed the view when you would allow yourself a reprieve from checking your phone. You tried your hardest to make sure you were there and present in the moment, but it was so hard with your heart in pieces, thinking about if it did connect he's surely seen it by now and still no call. And if it hadn't connected, still no call. You force your mind to other things and you laughing tell Ethan how his dad was still after you about him being single. "Well, when he's right, he's right." Was his response, much to your surprise. You didn't think Ethan had thought of you like that anymore. But maybe you were just reading too much into it. The two of you dated a few years long distance when you were younger, but you didn't think of Ethan romantically anymore, your friendship over the years made him more like a brother than the romantic partner. You were thrown even more when you got back to their home and he had walked you down to the pool house and left you at the door with a kiss on the cheek. You brush it off, unsure of your read on anything anymore and you start getting ready for bed. The thought of all you had to do tomorrow had your head spinning already.

*******************************

Lauren's wedding day was a magnificent to say the least, you got up and got showered and headed up to the main house for hair and makeup with the rest of the bridal party. You girls all had your hair swept up, and you had chandelier earrings and rhinestone necklaces of a very simple design. Your dresses were navy blue, asymmetrical neckline, sleeveless with a ruched bust line that were simply stunning. The skirts were floor length and the draping of the dress and the beauty of the jewelry, along with your hair and makeup made you feel so elegant. The wedding ceremony was so sweet and you managed to get through with as little tears as possible, not wanting to ruin your makeup and you were positive no one clapped louder than you after the happy couple were pronounced man and wife.

After the receiving line and the photos, the group of you headed back to the Young family home, the giant Amish built stunning brick and wood "barn" was serving as the reception hall. The barn was a barn in name only. The structure had always had a warm, elegant feel and was never used to house their horses. The inside of the barn was draped with yards and yards of navy blue and silver bunting and white Christmas lights wrapped the rafters and beams. You take tons of pictures to show Amanda when you get back then you step outside for a moment to get a breather from the crowd and the noise. Ethan comes out to join you.

"Hey Big E. How's it going?"

"Pretty good. Rough day losing my little sister."

"Ah but you're finally gaining that brother you've been wanting since you were 3." You elbow him in the side, teasing him.

He turns to look at you, his hand on your cheek to turn your face to look at his. "Do you ever think maybe this could have been us, you know, if we stuck it out? We lasted two good years."

You offer him a soft smile and pat the hand resting on your cheek. "Two great years, Ethan." You correct him and he smiles. "But it could never be us, you deserve someone better. My heart is long gone." You sigh, your hand still on his. "I gave it to my detective, and it will never be the same. He and I hit a snag," you come clean with Ethan "I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to Lauren worrying over me on her big day, but I don't know if he and I can be fixed but when I get back, I have to try." You give him the abbreviated version of what is in your heart. You won't bare yourself to Ethan, what is in your heart is for you and Sonny to talk about only, but being here, surrounded by all this love, the love your heart had been missing, searching for, and aching for, being surrounded by it today made you more sure of anything in your life that there was one person you needed more than anything, and you needed to try to fix it.

"If he cared at all about that heart of yours, he would have come. He wouldn't have let you come here all alone once again."

"Don't. You don't know our situation Ethan." You warn, and you turn your face from him, not wanting to discuss this, and you look out over their land and a figure in the commotion of the valet parking area catches your eye. You blink a million times over. You know that lanky man's walk and stance anywhere. "Sonny?" Did that person just hesitate? It's hard to tell in the darkness, your eyes struggling to pick him out again. " **Sonny**!" You scream and push past Ethan and lift up your skirt and throw off your shoes and run across the yard screaming his name. The figure doesn't stop or slow until you finally catch up and are directly in front of him. Your eyes taking him in over and over. Your lungs burn and your heart is screaming for him. You feel as though you've been apart from him for years and here he is, in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, only inches from you. He looks so handsome in his three piece navy blue suit and light blue shirt and blue striped tie. This suit was one of your favorites. "Sonny. Sonny. Oh Sonny." You huff and puff, hand gripping your side that is stitched in a cramp. "What are you doing here?" You ask, reaching out a hand to touch him and he lifts his hands to keep you from grabbing him.

He lets out a shuttering breath and looks at the ground and shoves his hands in his suit jacket pockets. "Uh, I uh, well I made a mistake, Milkmaid." He says as he goes to step around you.

You block his path, your arms spread wide to keep him from moving. "A mistake?" You pant, still trying to catch your breath and moving in front of him to keep him still.

"Yeah." he says, avoiding your eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." He starts and takes a deep breath. "I didn't mean to ruin your time. Look, this is a mistake. I'll just go."

You shake your head back and forth, still huffing. "Ruin my time? You're not ruining my time. Please stay. Please." You finally lower your hands. "You... you... you... you could stay and get something to eat."

He waves you away with his hand. "Nah," he shakes his head and looks off in the distance, not looking at you. He does his wide leg stance and crosses his arms in front of his chest. "I shouldn't have come. I didn't realize you were seeing someone already. Sorry."

You shake your head hard and raise hands again to stop him. "I'm not seeing anyone." You splay your hands in front of him, as if to prove how empty you are and show him that you have nothing. "Are you hungry?"

"Oh. I saw you and Ethan there and I thought..." He gestures behind him.

"No." You interrupt him, shaking your head again. "No." He knows you and Ethan used to date, and you tell him you would only ever think of Ethan like a brother. That your heart has no room for Ethan. You realize how bad you are shaking as you wait for him to say if he will stay.

He finally smiles, and you are nearly wrecked where you stand. Those dimples you have missed so badly and that sweet sideways smile you adore. You feel like your fingers itch you want to touch him so bad. You remember what it's like to be held by those arms and you are aching to be in his embrace. He shakes his head along with you. "No?" He asks.

"No. Please stay. You came all the way to Michigan." He nods at you and gestures with his head back over his shoulder towards the barn and you both walk back together in an uncomfortable silence. You wish he would grab you and hold you in those arms, pressing you to himself, and kiss you. Kiss away the hurt and the fear and the aches that have consumed you to your bones and let his fingertips dig into your flesh lighting a fire inside you wherever they land. You remind yourself to be patient, you want to show him he means so much more to you than the physical contact. You send up a thank you to God that you saw him when you did and that he's here now. You stop him before you get to the barn. "I'm glad you're here Sonny." You say quietly, staring at your shoes.

He looks at your bare neck as your head is tipped down staring at your shoes, Sonny licks his lips at the memory of the way the crook of that neck tastes when he buries his head into it when you make love and he swallows hard. He loves to put his face there as you rub his back and run your fingers through his hair while your bodies move together. He pulls himself from that memory. He waits for you look up at him, not wanting to touch you yet, afraid that once he touches that skin that he loves so much, feeling the softness against his fingertips that always reminds him of silk, he will have no choice but to kiss the pulse point on that neck. He can practically feel that pulse jump and that sweet skin shiver against his lips as he remembers how you always react to him kissing that spot. If he were to taste that neck, he would have to move onto those lips, those luscious lips that he needs as strongly as he needs air. And once he takes those lips, tasting as sweet as honey, he will need to take the rest of you as well. And he needed to take this one step at a time and let his actions show you what was in his heart. He needed you to know that he didn't come all the way to Michigan to claim your skin, he came to stake his claim on the heart that beats beneath it. So he will take his time and let his physical needs wait. He must. He can't mess this up.

When you do finally look up, his eyes are so kind and his sly smile melts you all over again. He's holding up his phone, the screen showing your missed call when you dialed him and hung up yesterday. Color floods your cheeks. You had hoped that call wouldn't go through, and now you couldn't be more grateful that it did. He leans so close to your face you feel off balance by his scent and the heat of him, and he whispers into your ear, his breath roaming across that skin he longed to taste, and he watches your goose bumps rise and your chest heave with your shallow breaths, but still not touching. "I had to come sweetheart, I missed your call."


End file.
